April WHAT?
by jade
Summary: Our favorite curly haired billionaire has a great plan for April Fool's Day! Rated PG 'cause we couldn't fit PG-13 and his ego. ^_^


Well after awhile, one can't get bored of the short little one shot let's get a couple together fic! Oh well. Here you go my lovelies, another little fanfic by me that is a little more then humorous! This took awhile to write. Here goes. I don't know if they have April Fool's Day in Japan. We're just gonna pretend they do.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hana Yori Dango.

Warnings: Practical jokes gone incredibly screwy. And sap. ^_^

April WHAT?

            Deep down I'm a very simple man with simple needs and wants. But can anything ever be simple for me? No, apparently not. You'd think that if you were as rich as I was you'd have your way paved in gold in this world. Maybe everyone was purposely trying to make my life difficult.

            I've made some mistakes in the past. I can admit it. But I don't think that should stop me from reaching my goals. I have very few goals in life like making sure that I run my dad's company successfully or getting Tsubaki back for the time she put ink in my tea and I had to walk around with blue teeth for a week. Oh she would pay. She thought that I had forgotten about it but she was sadly mistaken.

            Anyways, back to my goals. I have one other goal in life. At first you'd think it was a really easy goal to reach like getting breakfast. I thought it would be. You pay the right people and they deliver. This goal didn't work like that and I found that out the hard way. Or more, the shoe hitting my head hard way. 

            Makino Tsukushi was not like any other girl in the whole world. How can I begin to describe to you what she's like? I can't. I knew from the moment she stood up to me that she was the one. I was a bit stubborn at first but I sat there plotting and drawing up plans to make sure that the violently tempered girl would fall for me. 

            And one by one, they all fell through.

            I tried to pay her to hang out with me. Who doesn't like money? Apparently her! I offered it to her like a perfect gentlemen. I tried to be very businesslike and point out all the advantages to the situation. The girl _throws, I mean it, __throwsa shoe at me and stomps out! _

            Okay, well I had other ideas! Just because plan number one didn't work out doesn't mean the rest had to fall through! I locked myself into my room and drew up some more plans. I got an extra boost of confidence when she told me she was a virgin. Oh she is so sly! Like I don't know what she meant by that! I didn't understand why Akira and Soujirou were telling me I was an idiot. What do they know anyways? 

            I tried to be the gentlemen and help her out when that stupid Asai & Co. were harassing her. I chase away those girls and offer my hand to help her out. I felt really bad because she was crying. What does she do? SHE PUSHES ME INTO THE BUSHES! And let me tell you, while the bushes at Eitoku do make it look rather nice they are far from comfortable. What happened? Wasn't she supposed to fall weeping into my arms? Wasn't she supposed to thank me? You can't win with her!

            I won't go into all the other failed attempts at capturing my Tsukushi's heart. There are a few really good ones too. And some of them would have worked if it weren't for my friend.

            Well he's kind of the enemy but since I grew up with Hanazawa, I was willing to give him some leniency. At first anyways. That flew out the window when he got a little too close to my Tsukushi on my private island. Do I have to write my name on her? 'Cause I can afford to get it permanently written if there are any more claims on her.

            Not that she'd ever agree to that. I probably couldn't get the girl to make a confession if I was holding a gun to her head. Oh well! That didn't matter now because I had a guaranteed plan to make her run straight into my ever waiting arms. Strategy is the key to excess! 

            Wait…

            Oh well back to my life because it's far more interesting then anybody else's. Today was April Fool's Day. Yes, I had been waiting for this day, planning, researching, and trying to be patient.  She wouldn't be able to resist me. Not that she could now or anything, she's just a little stubborn. 

            So here I was, at Eitoku, leaning against a wall, in perfect sight of Tsukushi's locker. My mind was replaying exactly what would happen.

            _Tsukushi would walk up to her locker, probably talking to Makiko and that annoying Kazuya. Who gave him permission to talk to my Tsukushi? And then she'd open it. Hundreds of crickets would come chirping out, jumping all over her. _

_            "Omigod!" Tsukushi would look at all the crickets happily. "All these crickets, I know who did this!" She would skip over to me and put her arms around my neck._

_            "Oh Doumyouji-kun, what a great surprise!" She'd thank me, thinking on how I was the very model of everything a man should be. _

_            "April Fool's." I'd say before leaning down and kissing her quite smoothly. My ideas are the best after all._

Yep, just a matter of moments till I got to hold Tsukushi in my arms. There she was. She was walking with Makiko and Kazuya, just as I thought she would be. There she was, her hand resting on her locker. Come on open it already! I swear that woman loves making me wait. 

            She opened it and crickets jumped out at her. She flew back ten feet in surprise. Makiko shrieking as they jumped into her hair. Kazuya fainted. Ha, dork. I watched, waiting for Tsukushi to look happy. Her mouth tightened, her eyebrows knit together, and she clenched her fists. 

            She was pissed.

            This was obviously not in the plan. Damn, now what do I do? Er, I can make the situation better! When life hands you lemons make band aids! 

            Wait…was that right? Oh well, super pissed Tsukushi coming directly towards me. 

            "What the _hell did you put crickets in my locker for? Kazuya is terrified of them!" Tsukushi put her hands on her hips. Ah, that's the woman I love. Take it from me people; she is really cute when she's angry. _

            "April Fool's." Of course I knew that maybe this was not the best time to start gloating victory. Not when my true victory had still not occurred. 

            "April Fool's?" Tsukushi snapped. "Only you'd think of a prank that stupid!" Why did she always have to mess up the plan? Was there some evil against me? Nah, I probably shouldn't suspect Tsubaki without evidence. I decided to just say whatever came to mind.

            "I saw the crickets and I thought of you." I'm brilliant I know. She was going to instantly fall for that comment.

            _"Really?" She'd say, her face melting into a cute smile and big round eyes. "You thought of me?"_

_            "Do I ever think of anything else?" I'd pull her into a really good kiss. _

I happen to know that I am a very good kisser as every time I do get a chance to kiss my wonderful Tsukushi (Which isn't very often. Okay so it's only happened like three times, so???) She often can not string together a coherent sentence for several minutes. 

            "You thought of me?" Tsukushi repeated the words from the daydream but did not look happy only confused. "And crickets? You're such a baka Doumyouji!" Tsukushi turned, her pigtails flying out behind her as she ran back to her locker trying to repair some of the cricket damage. They were rapidly spreading through the halls. Well that's what the janitor was for wasn't it?

            _Come back! I haven't kissed you yet! Damn, where did I go wrong?_

As you can see, I am the perfect man and decided to blame this on the fact that Kazuya had fainted. If he hadn't then Tsukushi wouldn't have yelled at me. I go through all that trouble of going to pet shops and buying hundreds and hundreds of crickets. I go to all the trouble to make sure they are all put in her locker and I go through all the trouble of lifting the lids to the cages through the vents in her locker. Does she thank me for all my hard work? Does she offer to go make out? I'm so unappreciated.

            It was time for Plan B.

*                                              *                                              *

            "Crickets?" Akira spat out his tea, laughing hysterically with Soujirou. "You actually…"

            "What?" I defended my previous plan. I decided I needed to hold a counsel of war with the rest of the F4. So far they were just making fun of me. 

            "And then…then…you said…" Soujirou was wheezing too hard to get out the rest of his words. I heard a small snicker next to me and I turned sharply to glare at Rui.

            "Okay, well I can definitely tell you where you went wrong." Akira finally recovered. "Doumyouji, when you tell a girl that something reminds you of her, make sure it's pretty."

            "Yeah like 'These flowers reminded me of you' or something." Soujirou informed him. "Other wise it's like saying she's ugly." I was trying really hard not to laugh at the moment. Akira and Soujirou were both sporting big inky blue grins. Just because I'm at war with Tsubaki doesn't mean I can't use her ideas. Rui hadn't drunk any of his tea yet. Oh well, he was definitely not going to escape. 

            "Why are you trying to get her to fall for you on April Fool's Day?" Akira asked me. "It's one of the least romantic holidays of the year."

            "I was sick of waiting for Christmas." I protested. "So I've decided that it's time for Plan B." Oh yes, Plan B would go very well. I had memorized Tsukushi's schedule you see, (Just for fun you know.) and I knew that she had P.E. next. She'd love this. 

            I ended my little counsel of war before sneaking down to the locker rooms. It didn't really matter if I was caught or not but I thought it would be better if I wasn't seen at all. No one was in there. Phew! I went over to Tsukushi's locker and opened it up. Her school uniform was in there. Quickly I grabbed the uniform and then tried to think of a good place to dispose of it. Where wouldn't she find it? Ah ha!

            I ran out of the building to the dumpster and opened it before throwing in the uniform and running away. She'd never think to look there. I made my way back to the other F4, trying to look natural. I thought about what would happen when she discovered her uniform missing.

            _"Makiko, someone stole my uniform!" Tsukushi would exclaim in surprise. "Who would do that?"_

_            "I don't know." Makiko would shake her head. Then Tsukushi would realize that only one person would steal her uniform. She would run blindly out the doors, towards the rose garden where we were all hanging out. I turn to her and open my arms so she could leap into them._

_            "April Fool's." I'd tell her, gazing into her big brown eyes. _

_            "Doumyouji-kun! You are so smart!" Tsukushi would swoon. "You think of the best jokes!" Then we'd kiss. This plan was going to work._

I tried not to keep checking my watch to see what time it was. It was taking forever. Why couldn't time go by faster? Clocks are weevil things.

            Er, was that wrong?

            I could hear running, I turned, about to throw open my arms when a shoe connected with my head. She's got good aim. When Tsukushi finally caught up with her shoe, she was breathing heavily, wearing her green gym outfit, (She still looked good.) and her pigtails. 

            "You stole my uniform didn't you?" Tsukushi asked me demandingly. 

            "April Fool's." I told her smugly. "Good joke huh?"

            "Yeah, gee, you just think of the best jokes." Tsukushi cracked sarcastically. The other members of the F4 were laughing behind me. Well, Rui was just quietly snickering. He never drank any of that tea. That guy is too smart.  "Now where's my uniform?"

            "I can't tell you." I teased her in a sing song voice. So stealing her uniform didn't work out, maybe I could still get something out of the situation. Plan B wasn't over yet!

            _"Oh come on, tell me Doumyouji-kun!" Tsukushi would plead cutely, batting her eyelashes._

_            "I'll tell you if you promise to give me something in return." I'd tap the end of her cute little nose with my finger. _

_            "Anything for you! Please tell me…" Tsukushi would pout a little. _

_            "You promised." I'd smile cunningly, before leading her to the dumpster. I'd open it up and hand her the uniform. "There you go."_

_            "Thanks so much Doumyouji-kun!" Tsukushi would thank me, maybe kissing me on the cheek or something very innocent like that. My Tsukushi was very innocent. _

_            "Now you have to keep your end of the bargain." I'd remind her before pulling her into a kiss. This was my best plan yet! _

"Tell me where it is." Tsukushi insisted, not looking very happy. I decided this must be because her gym suit does not show off her body and she always wants to look good for me. 

            "I'll tell you if you promise to give me something in return." I tapped my finger on her nose. A few moments later my shins still hurt as I lead her out to where the dumpster was located. 

            What happened next was very bad. 

            I heard the beeping noises and realized that the garbage truck was here. In fact, it was dumping out all the garbage that had been in the dumpster into the back of the large truck. Her uniform! Tsukushi's shoulders were shaking with anger.

            _Think Doumyouji! Hurry before she hits you!_

"I'll buy you a new one!" I promised her immediately. "Two new ones. No, three! I'll get the rules altered and you won't even _have_ to wear a uniform! It made you look dumpy anyways." Up until the very last sentence, Tsukushi looked as though she might actually forgive me. The dumpy comment apparently was not exactly a good idea. One moment I was standing there, trying to think of how I could salvage this plan and the next I was flat on my ass, knocked down by Tsukushi's famous right hook.

            "You idiot! I can't believe you did that!" Tsukushi snapped at me angrily. "What is with you today? Are you trying to make my day hell?" With that the very furious girl of my dreams walked away. 

            All my hard work and planning, wasted. Again. This time I knew some supreme evil being was against me. No, Kaede was in New York. What was I suppose to do now? Tsukushi was obviously pissed. 

            _"Are you trying to make my day hell?"_

_            No! The very opposite! I want to make your day heaven! I'd buy you heaven! (Does anyone know where I could get a lease on that?) Come back! The uniform doesn't make you look dumpy! You look pretty! As always. Don't walk away! _

I heard the yells as Nishikado and Mimasaka discovered that their teeth weren't looking wonderful. At least that had worked out.

            It was time for Plan C. 

*                                                          *                                                          *

            After getting and giving a fair beating, (Akira and Soujirou were _not happy mappers. Was that right?) it was lunch time and I was ready to put my new plan into action. The other members of the F4 had run off so I was free to do as I pleased. Not that they were in charge or anything. Obviously I am. _

            "Excuse me, Doumyouji-san." A small voice asked. I turned to see Makiko standing there. "Do you know where Tsukushi-chan is? She's supposed to meet us but I haven't seen her." 

            "She's still here right?" I was suddenly alarmed. What would happen to all my plans? Where was she? Was she sick? Was she dead? Was she eloping with Rui? I began to panic. 

            "Maybe she went to the bathroom." Kazuya piped in. 

            "Yeah." I agreed. Okay, so maybe nothing was wrong. But I had this really bad feeling. I swear if that girl ends up in trouble and I have to save her again, I'm going to lock her up! Or maybe I could convince her to move into my house. Now that would not be bad at all.

            _"Tsukasa…I made you breakfast." She'd bring me breakfast in bed and we'd enjoy it together because I know she's a fabulous cook. "Did you like it?"_

_            "Not as much as I like you." I'd pull her into my arms and kiss her. Kissing Tsukushi was the best part of all my plans. _

"Doumyouji!" Akira and Soujirou were running towards me. Akira was holding a piece of paper. From the looks on their faces, I knew something bad had happened. 

            "What?" I asked irritably. 

            "Look! Tsukushi's been kidnapped again!" Akira handed me a piece of paper. In cut out letters from a magazine was written the following.

            _Dear Doumyouji Tsukasa,_

_                        We have Makino Tsukushi. If you want her back, come alone to the shed behind the old gym._

NO! This was definitely part of ANY of my plans! That stupid Junpei couldn't be dumb enough to try to pull off the same plan dice! I was going down there right now. I fought off Akira and Soujirou, those two better stay out of my way. I was on a mission now!

            People were murmuring to each other in the halls and I was too busy to care. Did they know what happened or who was behind it? I was ready to start pounding on whatever laid their hands on my Tsukushi. Was she scared? Or hurt? I began to pick up my pace until I was almost running. 

            The shed behind the old gym did not hold a ton of pleasant memories for me. I threw open the door, ready for whatever might be my challenge. Well, nothing could really challenge _me_ of course. I threw the door open.

            I didn't see anything. I took a couple steps inside. The door suddenly slammed shut behind me and I heard a clicking noise. I whirled around and tried to open it. It was locked somehow. Great. 

            "April Fool's!" Akira and Soujirou's voices echoed together. My ears suddenly perked up. There was a third voice in that. A higher pitched voice. It wasn't coming from outside where two people who were likely to be black and blue as soon as they let me out were standing. It was coming from inside. I turned around. There she was, standing there with her hands on her hips. 

            _I'm locked in a shed with Tsukushi._

_            SCORE!_

Obviously this _was part of my great plans. Only I could have pulled this off. I had another plan with in a matter of moments._

            _I'd pull her into my arms, holding her against me tightly._

_            "D-Doumyouji…" She'd go all red in the face. _

_            "Don't pull that again." I'd tell her seriously. _

_            "I'm sorry!" She'd cry a little and I'd tell her it was okay and that I forgave her. And then we'd kiss. _

I did the very first part of my plan and pulled her into a hug. 

            "Geez Doumyouji…it was just a stupid prank…" Tsukushi face was all red and she was trying to hide it. Her face was scrunched up cutely. 

            "Don't pull that again." I told her seriously. 

            "What are you, dictator of the world?" Tsukushi took a small step back. "Soujirou and Akira lured me back here. They told me to stay here and I didn't really know what they were planning." 

            Always. She always messes up my plans. I sighed. I was tired of trying to think of alternative plans. That was it. 

            I suddenly moved in and kissed her. For once, I would surprise her! How'd did she like those dapples? Hmm…that doesn't sound right…oh well! I was enjoying my time in this shed immensely now. I pulled away from her just to see her reaction. Now, see I realized a fatal flaw in all  my planning. Whatever I wanted her to do, she did the opposite. So…without delay…

            _"Doumyouji! Can't you think of anything else?" Tsukushi would flounce away. "I'm going to go look for a way out. I think we can use one of the windows." _

I am so smart. 

            "Doumyouji…we shouldn't be…I mean, at least not in the school shed…" Tsukushi was going an even brighter shade of red with every comment. I knew that would work! 

            "Are you saying we should be doing this somewhere else?" I asked her with a big grin on my face. Suddenly April Fool's Day was the best holiday ever. 

            "No…I mean…" Tsukushi was beginning to look frustrated. Warning bells went off. I kissed her again, hoping to stump her long enough to think of a good thing to say. Plus, kissing Tsukushi rules.

            "What do you mean?" I asked her as I pulled away. 

            "You!" Tsukushi suddenly had an accusing index finger between us. She looked up at my face and couldn't seem to think of anything else to say. She muttered something to herself and looked defeated. 

            _Wait…defeated?_

Before I realized what she was doing, she was kissing me. KISSING me. Now, I have no qualms about this at all. It was just one of those things that never happened. I could handle it though. After all, I'm just the cool. 

            So when it comes down to it, she couldn't resist me. How could I have doubted my plans for one moment? She was obviously head over heels. I could chalk that off my list of goals. She pulled away a little.

            "You've got blue teeth." She giggled. 

            "I…_do?" I wondered how in the world it got there. This was probably also Akira and Soujirou's doing. Freaking friends, always messing up good moments. I gave up thinking about how to beat them up and pulled Tsukushi closer to me. She complied with this instead of pulling away like usual. It's about time she realized who was in charge. 'Cause it's so obvious. That's just how good all my ideas are. _

            "You are still a baka." Tsukushi murmured. She looked up suddenly. "We should probably try to find a good way out of here!" She suddenly was ten feet from me peering out a window. There went the moment.

            Oh well, wouldn't trade her for the world! 

            'Cause I can just buy it, duh. 

            *                                                          *                                                          *

            Thank you, thank you! That was funny to write from his POV. I hope you all enjoy it. Heehee. My new fic makes its debut tomorrow! It's rated R…spooky…no it's not really spooky. I just you know, never really wrote too many R rated things before…Oh well, I hope you check it out!


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